All-In Blog

This blog will contain a handful of poker references. Don't worry if you aren't well-versed with poker lingo, you should be able to make it through this blog just fine.

When one is playing a no-limit poker tournament, they can go all-in at any time. That means the player has to put the remainder of their chips into the pot, and if they lose they are out. I'm going to relate the all-in action to the previously mentioned love triangle (http://wrkb.blogspot.com/2008/01/love-triangle.html).

So far in this game of "poker", both of the men have been slowly dwindling their chip stacks to the lady. Recently, I have concluded after 48 hours of observation that one of the participants has gone all-in. He made his move, looked to win the girl over. Unfortunately on the river, the queen of schizers hit, and he lost.

Maybe he should have stuck to craps.

I genuinely feel bad for this guy. He's an intelligent, creative person, and it was really sad for us to see him slowly become demasculated to the point of a whipping boy. Being a poker player myself, I'm particularly immune to "bad beat" stories, but I can't help but feel bad for him. Sure, we were losing faith in him during this time, but I think in the back of our minds we really hoped he would snap out of it at some point and return from the dark side.

Prismblog

As for the remaining player, he still has chips...but losing them more rapidly now that its a one-on-one game. Here's my point, give the credit to the guy who has enough balls to push his chips into the pot and go all-in. Don't give credit to the guy who is letting the lady bully him for any of what manhood he's holding on to.

Keep hanging in there champ.

Today, I salute you Mr. All-In guy, you've heard the calling, and taken the man up challenge. Yes, you may have lost, but nice guys finish last anyway. No more Mr. Nice Guy, no more Mr. Clean.

What a beast of a man.

Final Thoughts: As much as I hate to lose at poker, if I feel that I did the right thing when I go all-in, it doesn't matter. OAR said it best, "that was a crazy game of poker". Poker??? Barely know her.

Man-Up Challenge Of the Week (1-FEB-2008)

As a reoccurring theme in the WRKB blog, on Friday I, Ed Christy, shall issue a man-up challenge to a particular person/group of people. Now, for those of you unaware of the premise behind the man-up challenge let me explain. 

During a routine golf outing this previous summer a certain friend of mine (whom shall remain nameless) chose to lay-up on a rather formidable par 5 rather than attempt to go for the green in two, which he clearly could have achieved based on the immensity of his tee shot. As he pulled out his 5-iron I looked at him square in the eye and told him to put that club back in his bag, take out your 3-wood and put that ball on the green; followed by the phrase, MAN-UP!!!!!!! 

This is how a real man golfs!!!

He looked at me and with a sense of unparalleled confidence. He placed his 5-iron back in the bag, took out his 3-wood and let it rip like a contestant at Chuck Fafara’s chili cook-off contest. Granted he duck hooked it right into the woods, but he rose to the man-up challenge, which is all that mattered. When the time came he was willing to put it all on the line no matter what the consequence.

Gayest Game Ever !!!!!

This being said, the man-up challenge this week goes out to the truly unskilled work force that clears the sidewalks after a seasonal event here in the ROC.

Schools were not closed amazingly enough!!!!

Is it really that hard to cleanly clear a path five feet wide so people can walk without getting completely soaked from knee to toe? I think not!!!!!! You even have plows and motorized salters to do the work for you. Obviously obtaining that GED was the high point in your lives and it has all gone downhill from there. Take some pride in your work for god sakes.

 

MAN-UP!!!!!!!!

 

Do the job you are paid for so we, the patrons of the sidewalk can make it to and from our destinations with out getting drenched. Thank you.

 

Ed Christy

 

(I will take considerations for future Man-Up challenges in the comments section of this blog if you so choose to participate) 

Paranoia Blog

Maybe its just me, well knowing me I know its me I see out of the corner of my eye a strange creature about double the height of the Keebler elf and of the same appearance several times throughout the workday.

”Hey guys just let me be, I make delicious cookies you bastards”

He seems to have the disposition of both the pissed off unicorn as well as the annoying little bastard unicorns from the infamous Charlie the Unicorn that has experienced multiple renaissances on Youtube.

To make matters worse the elf does his shopping in Mr. Rogers Neighborhood (God rest his soul). Cardigan sweaters and penny loafers, come on buddy!

“You’re in my neighborhood bitch, respect the sweater vest”

Mr. McFeely?

“You’re a joke Keebler elf”

Get out of my head, stop burning my retinas with your infectious good looks and charm you elfish bastard. Keebler elf sightings on Thursday Jan 31 2008 (≥ 17).

Thank goodness it’s “King” Friday.

Leavin' on a Jet Plane Blog

As mentioned in our maiden post, one of my likes is gambling. This desire was primarily cultivated when I made my first trip to the city that never sleeps, Las Vegas.

This was the view out of my hotel room, only less pixelated.

If you haven't been there, I'm sure you have heard the stories of all the lavish hotels and immaculate sights that line the strip. For me, the most breathtaking and unique sight was the fountains at Bellagio.

Sadly, they were too far away to assist in the Monte Carlo fire.

At night, they are remarkable. They sync the fountains to lights, which as a whole are synced to the music. Forget remarkable, its disguisting good. Anywho, one of the songs I first heard was "My Heart Will Go On" from the movie Titanic.

No deal.

That was nothing but an undercard for the main event. Three songs, fourteen Mexicans trying to sell me strippers, and 302 Asians taking pictures later, "Time to Say Goodbye" by Andrea Bocelli (and maybe Sarah Brightman) was played. I'm not an opera fan at all, but if you know the song, you know how intriguing and catchy it is. Sources tell WRKB that our own correspondant Bob Ridgewood has been humming it on a semi-daily basis. In response, Bob released this statement:

Interesting Bob.

I fell in love with this song, much in the same vein as I fell in love with Super Mario Galaxy a few months ago. But look, I'm not gonna write this blog a love song, because it didn't ask for it, and it doesn't need one, you see?

Deal.

Sorry, I've digressed. As for "Time to Say Goodbye", I don't exactly know the complete background of the song, but I know its primarily sung in Italian. Much like my trombone, my Italian is rusty. So I will care just to focus on just the name of the song itself.
Here's where I start to care. This previous summer, a certain co-worker of ours here at WRKB made a decision to quit her job, and move back to her homestate of Texas. We at WRKB headquarters truly wished her the best in her future endeavours. We didn't know when exactly she was leaving, but we figured it would have been within a week or two. Infact, yours truly was tossing around the idea or a going away party. We hadn't heard from her in about a week, and we assumed that she was going to let us know when she was leaving. One week turned into two, which turned into a month. We we're pretty sure she left town already.

Leaving Town was an underrated song.

Every Friday, WRKB in Rochester will be handing out a douchebag award. This week's douchebag award goes to this girl. She left town without ever saying goodbye to any of us. If she's reading this now, this is our goodbye. It was simply a situation that left us fairly bummed out.

Not as bummed out as this guy.

Final Thought: Man up. If you invest any amount of time in a place where you forge any semblance of friendship, you owe it to yourself and those around you to bid farewell. If you don't, you'll probably be the butt-end of every joke at WRKB. That's what she said.

The Handicappable

As I walk through the dark and dreary hallway of life, I notice a few things;

1.) Everyone and their half-retarded cousin is talking/texting on a cell phone constantly,

2.) Some people have impeccable oral hygiene, and

3.) The Handicappable!!!!!

Now the definition of handicappable according to the ED CHRISTY NEW WORLD COLLIGATE POLITICALLY INCORRECT DICTIONARY is as follows:

Hand-i-capp-ab-le

Adjective: i) Falsely representing a condition that seemingly restricts one’s ability to function physically, mentally, or socially.

Such examples of handicappable people include:

- The 42-year-old gas station attendant in the cut-off jean shorts that constantly uses his infirm mothers car (with whom he still lives) to take advantage of the handicapped sticker.

Clearly, walking that extra 20 feet into the local video barn to pick up his nightly masturbatory aid wastes needed calories he uses in his never ending quest to rule the World of Warcraft.

- The really annoying drunk chick that has clearly imbibed too many O’Douls.

- People who conveniently get a 24 hr. flu bug to…

a.) Postpone a presentation they knew about a month in advance,

or

b.) Help a fellow conspirator obtain a goal that he/she/it desires.

I use this term very loosely in my day-to-day life and plan on rectifying the grave misrepresentative use of the word immediately; I hope you shall do the same. Please feel free to add to the examples of handicappable people at any time. Your input is greatly appreciated.

Ed Christy

Inspiration Blog

While eating lunch with fellow bloggers Bob and Ed, the back of a navy blue t-shirt caught my attention. It had the following phrase in big, bold stand-out letters:

NO TIME-OUTS

NO SUBSTITUTIONS

Needless to say, I was intimidated. I made a point to see what all this intensity was about, so I peeked around to see the front of the shirt, to find out it was for Notre Dame Swimming.

Those four dudes in the back are living the dream.

Now, when I think intense competition, no subs, and no time-outs, swimming is not on my list.

Survey Says: No Way.

Don't get me wrong, I think swimmers are very talented athletes, and train just as hard as any other sport to achieve success. This brings me to my larger point, underrated sports. It seems as though lately ESPN has been covering the big four...Baseball, Basketball, Football, and more Basketball. I miss the golden days when hockey was a part of that big four. Those were simpler times, gas was under $1.50 a gallon, stamps were 35 cents, and I still thought wrestling was real.

This shit's real....BROTHER!

A blog that I frequent is ThePensBlog (thepensblog.blogspot.com). They discuss hockey, specifically the Pittsburgh Penguins. A few months ago they did a comparison as to how much actual playing time occurs in a game of football compared to a game of hockey, the two contact sports of the "big four". In a given game of football, lets say the offense is on the field for 30 minutes. That 30 minutes is mostly comprised of dead time after the play is over. If you generously spot each play 7-8 seconds, they really only have about 5-6 minutes of actual physical activity per game. Meanwhile, on the ice, players regularly play 20-25 minutes a game.

Selloutblog

And don't even get me started on overpaidblog (baseball) or overratedblog (basketball). Why don't people appreciate hockey as much as they should? Of the big four, they are by far the hardest worked, and the lowest paid. If there was only a happy place where hockey ruled all, and each sportscenter would start with 30 minutes of hockey.....

I understand they call it sportscentRE.

Final Thoughts: Watch hockey, at any level. Don't watch basketball, unless it's at or below the collegiate level, and even that is marginal at best. And to make good with my swimming friends, go to a swim meet or two, you might find yourself a single seaman (or woman).

Pete and Repeat (A word from your fire breathing bear)

Sorry about the late post folks didn’t have the internet here for a few days. Anybody out there have a friend or know a friend of a friend who finds it necessary to constantly remind you of a story or a certain fact (i.e. that they couldn’t see south park or that football game last night because they don’t have cable). Honestly, who doesn’t have cable in this day and age especially if you have a huge fly ass HDTV. I mean what could possibly be occupying your time that you can’t splurge for the cable to see the big game. I mean stop ordering german porn on the internet and get your life together your dick is gonna fall off donny. You see what happens Donny when you tell a story more than once!!!!!

I guess all I am trying to say here is that I miss my friend. Just like the “Dude” wanted restitution for his ruined rug all I want is my friend back. Drop the German porn additiction and come watch the game.